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Transformational Counseling
Dr. Harry Henshaw
Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others
to transform their lives. Transformational Counseling is a
process of assisting others in their reinventing themselves,
of creating a life that they love and living it powerfully.
Transformational Counseling is a process of creating a space
for others to get present to or become aware of their self
limiting belief, to create or invent a possibility for themselves
and their life that could not have existed before and to learn
how to be in their possibilities as opposed to being that
which has always stopped them in the past.
The development of transformational counseling has been the
result of my work in counseling, psychotherapy, coaching,
hypnosis, neuro linguistic programming, the work of Louise
Hay and especially Landmark Education. To understand and be
able to utilize the technology of Transformational Counseling
with others, of being able to make a true difference in another
person's life, requires that one understand or get certain
concepts or distinctions about what it is to be a human being
and reality itself. While the distinctions of Transformational
Counseling are initially presented separately, it is in their
practice or communication with another that a true synergy
is reached and it's potential or power actualized for the
client. For the counselor as well as the client the synergistic
learnings that take place within Transformational Counseling
is nonlinear in nature.
The clients that I work with are all experiencing a loss of
power, freedom and full self-expression in one or many of
the various domains of their life. The clients that I see
are all being stopped in living a life that they love and
living it powerfully. If they continue being as they have
been being nothing will change, life will be as it has always
been. They will remain stuck and unable to reach their true
potential in life. The clients that I coach or counsel know
that something needs to be different in their life but are
unsure of what that something is all about, of what is not
working, of what is missing, of what needs to happen. It is
in assisting a client to discover or become present to that
which has been causing their depression, sadness, anger, frustration,
etc. and to learn how to create a new way of being that the
work of Transformational Counseling is all about.
One of the fundamental distinctions of Transformational Counseling
is that our thoughts are very important, if not the most important
component of what it is to be a human being. We tend to believe
that the external world, or what we commonly believe to be
reality, is that which is truly important. As a result of
such a belief, we are constantly engaged in trying to change
something in the external world, constantly believing that
this type of activity will bring us true happiness and contentment
in our life. Within Transformational Counseling, it is our
thoughts or thinking that is of immense importance to us and
our process of living. It is our thoughts and thinking patterns
that literally shape or determine our feelings, behavior,
experiences and our reality. More specifically, it is our
thoughts that we have about ourselves that tends to create
or shape our experiences, that forms the background of our
life and our sense of reality. It is from the thoughts that
we initially create about ourselves that we subsequently develop
into a belief about who we think we are, our self-image, of
how we define our very being and it is from this belief that
we live our life. A belief is merely a thought that we think
is true or real, that expresses some sense of ontology.
Inside the conversation of Transformational Counseling it
is also important to understand that we are truly responsible
for the thoughts that we have, including and especially those
that we have about ourselves. We literally invent or create
all of our thoughts including those that we have about ourselves
and with them our feelings and behaviors. To truly get our
responsibility in how we create our experiences or reality
is to also get how we create or invent all of our thoughts
about ourselves and with it our reality. Reality itself has
no meaning outside of what we give it. We are, as human beings,
meaning making machines, beings that wrap meaning around everything
in our life, including and most importantly about ourselves.
Being responsible for our thoughts, getting it that we create
them, is completely different from the experience of guilt
or blame. It is not that we are to blame for our experiences
but merely that we do create what we think about ourselves,
who we think we are, how we feel about ourselves and how the
world appears to us. There is a distinction between responsibility
and blame or guilt.
What we tend to think about ourselves has at its core what
can be referred to as our self-limiting belief. The self-limiting
belief is a thought that we have about who we think we are,
that defines our identity at its core, a belief that was developed
between the ages of three to six approximately. During this
time frame in our journey through life something happened,
an event took place and it is from that event that we developed
or created a thought or belief about ourselves. The original
event is not so much of importance as the fact that we created
a belief about ourselves, a belief that has actually limited
us in life. The self-limiting belief is a sense of inadequacy,
an idea or thought that something is wrong with us, that something
is broken. Once this self-limiting belief is created or invented
we tend to live our lives as if it were true. Our self-limiting
belief is a fundamental, core belief that we have about ourselves,
about who we think we are, that creates our feelings about
ourselves, affects our behavior and determines our experiences.
Our self-limiting belief affects our behavior in that we are
constantly trying to fix it. For example, if ones self-limiting
belief is that the individual is "not enough", that person
will constantly try to be "enough", constantly be doing things
to compensate for what or who they think they are. While an
individual is constantly attempting to fix it, the self-limiting
belief is also in the process of fulfilling upon itself, of
becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, of causing the person
to be "not enough." Given the fact that ones self-limiting
belief is hidden from them, from their view, we are not aware
of its existence or its affect on our life, of its influence
or impact on our life. Even though it is not true, not real,
we believe it to be so and as a result the self limiting belief
is that which keeps us stuck, keeps us living in the past,
prevents us from living a life that we love and living it
powerfully. Our self-limiting belief is in a very real sense
our personal affirmation, an affirmation that is embedded
in our "self talk", an affirmation that determines how we
tend to feel about ourselves, an affirmation that guides and
determines our behavior in life, that defines our very way
of being and how we appear to the world.
The first goal of Transformational Counseling is to assist
an individual in becoming present to his or her self-limiting
belief, of bringing it into ones awareness. It is this distinction
or awareness of ones self-limiting belief that is crucial
to his or her transformation. Without such awareness ones
future will be as it has been, will be what can be referred
to as the "probable almost certain future". Without such awareness,
ones future will merely be the past and even with a constant
attempt on the individual's part to fix the self-limiting
belief, his or her life will merely be to continue with its
fulfillment and actualization in their experiences and life.
Awareness of ones self limiting belief can be gotten by the
person experiencing its genesis or the originating event and
with it the belief that the person invented or created about
themselves at that time. An individual can also become present
to the self-limiting belief by monitoring his or her spoken
word. The self-limiting belief exists in our language, in
the words we say or speak. Mirror work will also facilitate
this type of awareness as ones self-limiting belief exists
inside the feelings that one will become present as the individual
observes his or her image. Regression can also be utilized
to assist one in getting the genesis of his or her self-limiting
belief.
Once one becomes present to his or her self-limiting belief,
the opportunity then exists, possibly for the first time in
the person's life, to invent a possibility for his or her
life, to begin to reinvent his or her life anew. An individual's
possibility is how that person will be in the present, free
of the constraints or barriers of the past, a creation from
nothing. Within Transformational Counseling, an individual's
possibility is a new or different way of thinking about himself
or herself, of who they are, of who they will be. Like the
individual's self-limiting belief, a person's possibility
is a personal affirmation or declaration. Like a person's
self limiting belief, an individual's possibility also exists
in language, and once generated by the individual, will begin
to create or invent his or her experiences and sense of reality
through the power of his or her thoughts and word. Unlike
a person's self limiting belief, an individual's possibility
will allow him or her to create a life that they truly love
and be able to live it powerfully.
The third component of Transformational Counseling has to
do with the individual learning what Landmark Education refers
to as the process of enrollment. Given that a person will
either live life as his or her possibility or their self-limiting
belief, there will be a tendency for a person to go back to
or stay in his or her self-limiting belief. This is what is
very familiar to us, that is, being our self-limiting belief
in our daily life. Learning the process of enrollment will
assist the individual in being able to get out of his or her
self-limiting belief and back into their possibility. When
we have a breakdown, we have gone back into being our self-limiting
belief and as we do so will truly experience a loss of power,
freedom and full expression that is from the past. It is in
our breakdowns that we are being inauthentic, that the self-limiting
belief becomes hidden again. The process of enrollment allows
the person to become authentic about how he or she has been
being inauthentic, to again become present to his or her self-limiting
belief, and in the process to continue generating his or her
possibility or invent a new one for themselves and their life.
The implementation or practice of Transformational Counseling
with a client takes place inside a conversation about integrity.
Integrity is simply planning your work and working your plan.
Clients are encouraged to develop a written plan, a plan for
their daily life. A written plan allows the client to take
on creating or reinventing themselves and their life in a
new way that supports their wellness. Implementing ones plan
also allows them to confront that which has always stopped
them in the past. As clients begin the process of fulfilling
on their plan, of working it, of living the life that they
desire, they will have a tendency to get stopped, to have
a breakdown and as they do so will develop an inauthenticity,
living life as they once did, from the backdrop of the self-limiting
belief. It is in working with a client and his or her plan
through the enrollment process that he or she has the opportunity
to learn how to get out of their self-limiting belief and
back into their possibility and truly transform their life.
For the client the process of enrollment is the practice of
continuing to experience a true sense of power, freedom and
full self-expression. It is through staying in and working
with ones integrity that a person will have the opportunity
to stay committed to living a life that they love and living
it powerfully.
The conversations that take place with a client are conducted
within the language used through my personal training and
development with Landmark Education. These conversations are
done so by design. While it is important for a client to begin
to act and behave differently, it is crucial that they begin
to think differently too. The language used in Landmark Education
is unfamiliar and tends to create a space, at least initially,
of confusion. This confusion acts as a pattern disruption
for the client, causing him or her to start to seriously question
what is being said, the meaning of the conversation. It is
through this confusion and questioning by the client that
they will have the opportunity to become present to their
very thought process, to that which has been the true cause
in the matter for them, to that which has been creating their
experiences and their sense of reality, especially as it applies
to how they have been thinking about themselves, the basis
of how they have been being and way of life.
As the client begins to live a life of transformation it is
also important that the counselor or coach be very present
to the client's tendency to acknowledge or thank them for
their assistance. As a counselor or coach I let the client
know that I can not fix or help them, that they must do this
work if they are to live a life that they love and live it
powerfully. In my work with clients I make a stand for the
client to assume total and complete responsibility with true
empowerment as the goal. To step over the client acknowledging
the coach or counselor is essentially the same as encouraging
a client to use a blame pattern. As with blaming, thanking
another for this type of work does not allow the client to
truly get it that he or she is the cause in the matter and
in both instances the client will not experience his or her
true sense of power, freedom and full self expression. The
client is truly responsible for transforming their life and
it is vital to the process that they get this completely.
Transformational Counseling is an extremely powerful technique
for assisting others in making a true difference in their
life. For a client it is a gradual awakening to that which
has truly been the cause in the matter, to that which has
created and shaped their thoughts, feelings, behavior, experiences
and sense of reality. To assist a client in being able to
stand in their possibility, of being the possibility of "acceptance,
freedom and creativity", as opposed to their self-limiting
belief, of being "not enough", will allow that individual
to live a life that they love and live it powerfully. When
used in conjunction with other techniques, such as mirror
work, positive affirmations, therapeutic relaxation music,
self-hypnosis and NLP patterns, a space is created for a client
to transform his or her life forever.
In addition to learning the fundamental distinctions and process
of Transformational Counseling, it is also important for the
counselor or coach to have an experiential understanding of
this technology. To truly make a stand for a client and be
able to make a difference for another will necessitate that
the counselor have gotten his or her self-limiting belief,
have invented new possibilities for himself or herself and
also to have learned the process of enrollment. Being able
to assist another in the process of transformation can only
be achieved when the counselor or coach is in his or her own
personal transformation. For me this journey started when
I enrolled in the Landmark Forum. It was through experiencing
the Forum and the curriculum that followed that the process
of transformation began for me as a counselor and more importantly
as a human being. Within the conversation of transformation
we are merely human beings assisting other human beings to
transform their lives, to live a life that they love and to
live it powerfully.
Harry Henshaw, Ed. D., LMHC
Dr Harry Henshaw is in private practice in North Miami Beach,
Florida. www.enhancedhealing.com
Article Source: http://www.articledashboard.com
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