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IMGCA Article - The Mental Game of Coaching


Working with a Coach

Paul Duxbury

I am sure that at some stage in your life you have dreamed of being someone special, someone important or successful. It can seem so hard at times to take that first step and step outside where we are right now to where we want to be. Today more and more people want to take that first step and are finding themselves working with a Coach to achieve what they want.

One of the first things a Coach will do when they work with you is help you to set yourself goals which you can then start to work towards achieving. Before you start to work with a coach you can do some work on moving things forward in your own life by thinking about your goals.

The most common problem people encounter when they think about setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this. However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. Sadly the result is broken dreams and tattered aspirations. If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break through and past those things that you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging onto the impossible dream.

Try this exercise for a few weeks. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things 'you know you can do'. Under another header, write the things 'you might be able to do.' And under one more, list the things that that are 'impossible for you to do.'

Now look at all the headers and for a few weeks strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things 'you know you can do'. Place a tick beside them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to tick all of your goals under that heading, start to try accomplishing the goals under the other header, the one that reads 'you might be able to do.'

As you achieve the items you wrote under "things I could do" you can start to move the goals that are under things that are 'impossible for you to do' to the list of things 'you might be able to do.'

As you progress through this process, you will find out that the goals that you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. You will surprise yourself as the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high and to start working towards that goal little by little. However, it is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned. On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now daily realities.

If it's so easy you may be wondering why you need a Coach. One of the principle benefits of working with a Coach is that they will inspire you to work towards your goals and support you as you achieve them. Above all else they will be there to hold you accountable as you strive to achieve your goals.

Paul Duxbury is an experienced management trainer and Coach. Do you want to achieve your goals and live the lifestyle you really want? Read more at

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