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How To Get A Great Attitude To Life (Part One)
Craig Lock
I believe that heredity (the genes that you inherit) have
some part in forming attitudes. However, most important in
shaping them, is the family environment, especially in your
early childhood: the impressionable years up to the age of
seven. Also critical are your lifetime experiences and events
(whether happy or traumatic) in later years. What is happening
in your life today, yesterday and all those past years. There
are three areas of life in which your attitudes are formed.
1. A sense of BELONGING which is picked up before birth. The
"vibes" in the womb of the mother (hard to be a father in
this process) will determine whether we are really wanted
by the mother, and this can determine our degree of security
(or insecurity) in later life. You sound just like a psychologist
now, Craig.
2. Your sense of WORTH will be determined by your immediate
family in your early childhood. They instill in you an inner
sense of well-being and of being loved. The role of mothers
and fathers is critical in the socialization process for the
development of your attitudes. Their expectations of you play
a big part in your life script.
3. Your sense of COMPETENCE will also originate in the family
environment. That is why it is very important to praise and
encourage children. If they are continually reprimanded, children
will feel that they can't ever do things right. This then
develops into the child thinking, "I am a person of no worth
who is no good at anything." This attitude grows over time
and can be re-inforced in the working environment. Even extremely
competent business executives can feel insecure on a personal
level and have difficulty in personal relationships.
Developing Success Attitudes
Golda Meier, an earlier Prime Minister of Israel, was once
asked what made Israel such a success against the might of
the united Arab armies. Israel, as you most probably know,
is a small country set in the middle of a desert, with virtually
no natural resources and no wealth. Meier replied, "All that
my country has is the spirit of its people. If the people
lost their spirit, not even the might of the United States
of America could save us." A right attitude throughout the
country overcame all the odds and insurmountable difficulties
throughout it's turbulent history.
The top salesman for Bell telephones in America is a quadriplegic.
Although he can only blink his eyes and open his mouth, his
attitude and perseverance have made him number one. (Stanford
University after doing extensive research, said that all success
is 87.5% as a result of your attitudes. Your skills, abilities
and knowledge make up the other 12.5%).
How Do I Get the Right Attitude?
1. Enlist the co-operation of a positive close friend that
you can confide in. Share your personal goals and dreams.
Ignore the "knockers" who will try to put you down out of
jealousy (the "tall poppy syndrome" so prevalent here in New
Zealand; but especially Australia).
2. Seek out the right people (successful and enthusiastic
ones who have the right attitude). DON'T NEGLECT YOUR OLD
FRIENDS TO GET IDEAS; but remember, your potential has nothing
to do with your ultimate performance.
3. Select a model to emulate or follow...who you would like
to be like? (Only if you are not happy with the way you are.)
4. Learn from your mistakes. Daley Thompson, the former great
British athlete in the decathlon said..."I will learn more
than any other experience from my failures than my successes
."In his goal setting, Thompson was content to grow slowly,
because slow growth is more solid, and he did it in small
steps.
Look beyond your mistakes and savor successful experiences.
Don't feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about your achievements.
Make daily affirmations to yourself that you are doing well
and are on the right track. Reward yourself for minor achievements,
or steps on the road to your bigger goals. Give yourself credit,
no matter how small your achievements, because mental rewards
will boost your motivation. All rewards must come from within.
This conditioning will cultivate a positive attitude in you.
(Just like Pavlov's dogs were conditioned to salivate through
association of ideas.) I remember that from my studies in
psychology "many many moons" ago.
EXPECT SUCCESS: Look forward to positive outcomes and rehearse
them in your mind, rather than anticipating failure. Don't
repeat bad experiences -- our attitude ties us down and limits
us, so that mediocrity becomes our destiny.
5. Make the most of any situation you find yourself in. Try
not to be anxious. Things will work out in the end.
6. Avoid self-pity. Resilient people don't feel sorry for
themselves too long. The person who wallows in self-pity or
bitterness, spends too much time on introspection and not
enough time plotting a comeback.
7. Be persistent. Winning often means getting up one more
time than you have been knocked down. Persevere and never
give up.
8. Adapt to change and see it as a challenge rather than as
uncertain and frightening.
9. Always keep things in perspective. Because our job is such
a big part of our self image, a career set-back can make us
lose perspective. If you become unemployed, don't see yourself
as a failure, but rather as having options and an opportunity
to pursue a new direction in your life.
and finally,
10. Believe in yourself, but trust in God.
YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY and YOUR ATTITUDE DETERMINES
YOUR ALTITUDE
See related article:
How To Get A Great Attitude
To Life (Part Two)
Craig Lock has written extensively in the field of
self help. This extract is from his first published book HANDBOOK
TO SURVIVE - a collection of writings on various subjects
to help every man or woman survive in a rapidly changing,
uncertain world. Creative Writing Course http://www.nzenterprise.com/writer/creative.html
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