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Improving Self Esteem With Affirmations and Therapeutic
Relaxation Music
Dr. Harry Henshaw
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health
and wellness as human beings. Having positive self-esteem
is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether
physical, emotional or spiritual. Poor or low self-esteem
on the other hand can be quite detrimental to our well-being
and even our very existence. Negative self-esteem can create
anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems with relationships,
seriously impair academic and job performance and also can
generate an increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse
and dependency. On the other hand, a person with positive
self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking on and creating
a life that he loves, living it powerfully and in this process
be authentically related to others in his community. Having
positive self-esteem appears to be necessary for having a
happy and healthy existence regardless of who we are or what
profession we are taking on in life.
What is self-esteem? We commonly think that self-esteem is
merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular
moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe
that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we
make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves.
However, within a conversation of Transformational Counseling,
our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent
existence. We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling
or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there
is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that
generates the experience of self-esteem. Whether positive
or negative, self-esteem is merely how our organism experiences
the thoughts that the individual has about himself or herself.
If a person has positive thoughts about himself he will experience
positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual
has negative thoughts about who he thinks he is then he will
experience poor or negative self-esteem. Therefore, to truly
understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly
to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or
healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about
our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that
we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs
that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine
or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and
the various emotions associated with it.
We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something
that is shaped by the events that take place in our life,
particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that
who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely
the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have
had in the past, that we are who we are by virtue of what
has happened to us as human beings. More specifically, we
tend to think that the cause in the matter of who we think
we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation
or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think
that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or
created. Within the work of transformation, it is not the
past, circumstance, situation or others, that determines our
underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem. We created
our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that
we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially
at an early age. As meaning making machines we give meaning
to everything in our life including and most importantly to
ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event
tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen
it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning
that we give them and especially how we made it out to be
about our identity.
Given the fact that our thoughts determine our feelings or
emotions and equally important that we are truly responsible
for their creation, to change or transform our self-esteem,
how we tend to feel about ourselves, amounts to us altering
how we see or conceive of ourselves in the world in the now
and this work is our responsibility alone. It is our self-image,
how we define ourselves as an individual in the world in the
present, that determines our experience of self-esteem and
it is this that we are truly responsible for creating and
equally responsible for transforming. When we alter or transform
our definition of ourselves in the present we change how we
feel about ourselves and with it our experience of reality
and life in general. If we do not get it that we are responsible
for what we think about ourselves and that we are the real
author of our self-image and self-esteem we will continue
to blame something or some body, remain powerless and stuck
in life. The question of how to actually go about altering
or improving an individual's self-esteem is one that has been
debated for many years by professionals both in the mental
health and addiction arenas.
Self-esteem can be improved or transformed in several ways.
One way to improve ones self-esteem is to do the work of transformation
as outlined in my articles, Transformational Counseling and
The Conversation of Transformation. To improve ones self-esteem
in this manner is to become present to ones self limiting
belief, that which has stopped us in life and in the process
create new possibilities for oneself, a new self-image from
which to begin to live life into. Another way to improve an
individual's self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations.
Given that the basis of self-esteem is the thoughts that a
person has about himself, an individual with poor or negative
self-esteem is believing negative thoughts or ideas about
who he thinks he is. The individual may think, for example,
that he is "worthless" or "not good enough" and as a result
will tend to experience poor or negative self-esteem. Within
the work of transformation and Transformational Counseling,
the thought that is at the basis or core of our self-talk
is defined as a person's Self Limiting Belief, the fundamental
or core belief about who we think we are. Unless this core
thought or belief that a person has about himself is changed
or transformed he will continue to experience a poor or negative
self-esteem and as a result of this negative thought pattern
create or generate life experiences that will match and validate
what they think about themselves. Given such a cognitive and
emotional situation life will continue to appear as it has
in the past and ones future will merely be the probable almost
certain future.
Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool
for transforming what a person thinks about himself and as
a result improve the individual's self-esteem. Consistent
use of positive affirmations will transform the negative beliefs
about who a person thinks he is into positive ones, will begin
to alter the basis and structure of his self talk or inner
voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to
positive self-esteem. While utilized in a various ways, working
with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered
through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music. What
therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of
positive affirmations is to create a very relaxed audio environment
for the individual to become even more open or suggestive
to the language of positive affirmations. When therapeutic
relaxation music is combined with binaural audio tones the
audio space that is created for the delivery of positive affirmations
is even more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition
to utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music,
the infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial
for the success of this type of intervention. When therapeutic
relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in
this fashion the individual will experience a very deep state
of relaxation and as a result be more open to the reception
and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.
The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this
or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image
and the negative thoughts about who a person thinks he is
that generates his experience of poor or negative self-esteem
is well established in the his belief system. In many cases
the development of a negative self-image took years to create
and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation.
Once a person creates and then believes that a self-limiting
belief is true he will continually act as if it is true. This
seemingly fundamental belief will appear to the person as
true and as a result will continually be acted upon and thereby
be reinforced through ones behavior. Much of that person's
behavior will be to continually validate who he thinks he
is. Ones behavior will always be directed at supporting, reinforcing
and validating what the person believes is true about him.
While necessary for ones well-being and health, such a transformation
of ones self-image from being basically a negative one to
one that is fundamentally positive does not happen instantly.
As with the development of an individual's negative self-image,
the development of a more adequate belief about the true nature
of the individual will necessitate consistent and repetitive
work by the person. Basic to this process is that the individual
must fully embrace his sense of complete responsibility for
the development of his self-image and also for its transformation.
To do otherwise will only leave the individual feeling powerless
and unable to create the life that he or she truly desires
and unless there is consistency and repetition such a transformation
will simply not happen.
Enhancing My Self Esteem is an audio product that will effectively
transform the very structure of an individual's thought or
belief pattern, the basic ideas and language structure that
he uses to define who he thinks he is in the world. This product
was designed specially to change the self-talk that a person
experiences on a daily basis by changing the ideas or beliefs
that the person has about himself, the very foundation or
backdrop of his inner conversation. As our identity is merely
language, change the language in a person's mind and his life
transforms. By listening to this product an individual has
the opportunity to practice or repeat fifty positive affirmations
that will empower them to alter their life. Within a conversation
of Transformational Counseling, committing an affirmation
to spoken word makes it so or real especially if it is done
repeatedly. Listening to positive affirmations before sleep
also allows the person's mind to begin this restructuring
or reprogramming process even while the individual sleeps
by taking the words and language into their dream state. By
consistently listening to and practicing the positive affirmations
in this product the individual will have the opportunity to
begin to redefine themselves, who they think they are in the
world, from one that is negative to one that is positive and
enhancing for their life. With the acceptance of the words
and language of the positive affirmations will come an improved
self-image and with it an experience of positive self esteem.
I am currently using Enhancing My Self Esteem with all the
clients that I counsel at the Holistic Addiction Treatment
Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. All of the clients
that I have worked with who are experiencing a drug and/or
alcohol dependency problem also have very low self-esteem.
My clients tend to be very depressed and unmotivated in many
if not most of the various domains of their life, including
and especially with their recovery. When given to my clients
as homework, consistent use of Enhancing My Self Esteem alters
how they think and improves how they feel about themselves.
With an improved self-image and enhanced self-esteem my clients
become more motivated in their life and especially with their
recovery. If a person continues to experience low self-esteem
and there is no intervention to disrupt the underlying cognitive
process taking on improving their life and working the 12
Step Program will be meaningless and eventually given up completely
as so many other things have been in the past. It is my belief
that not altering or transforming the fundamental structure
of ones self-image accounts for the great percentage of individuals
who begin recovery and eventually relapse. The work that is
essential to successful recovery is for the individual to
be able to redefine who he thinks he is, to alter his self-image,
the very foundation of his experience of self-esteem and life.
Who the individual believes he is will determine what he does
and how he will be in and appear to others and the world.
Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com
Dr. Harry Henshaw is in private practice in North
Miami Beach, Florida. Enhanced Healing Through Music, www.enhancedhealing.com
Article Source: http://articles.directorygold.com
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